← Back to examples
Band 4.0CEFR B1360 words

Nowadays many people have an unhealthy diet and do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons behind this trend? How we can encourage these people to live a health life.

The response addresses both parts of the prompt in a general way, but suffers from severe, pervasive grammatical and lexical errors, highly fragmented paragraphing, and a lack o...

IELTS WritingCEFR B1Checked

Prompt

Nowadays many people have an unhealthy diet and do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons behind this trend? How we can encourage these people to live a health life.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Todays life is extremely fast . we are dwelling in a community where have to finish maximum task in one go. This need a lot of power and because of this the humans are facing serious mental and phsyical issues.

This is all due to unhealthy diet and lake of awarness regarding workout and exercise.

Furtheremore, there are many reasons which are making humans a complete pakage of dseases.

The main issue which I would like to address, is unlimited penetration of electronic devies in our daily life. Now a days it is a commen practice that all type of work are transferd from human being to machines.

Thses electronic device are so powerful and having ability to complete the given taks in less time and making humans dependent of these machines and effecting the behaviour and attuide of the masses towards each other.

On more thing , I would like to add, that In the recent past people have enough time for there friends and family but it going to be reducing day by day

Main object of healty life is to take proper nuration and should have regular excercise but unfortunately as I mentiontioned earlier that our so called business and too much used of sicial media not only made us inert but also putting negative impact on our health. Due to our buzy scheduale we have no time to sit with our family members and take proper meal , if feel appitite than fast food is a quick and easy salution, But while saving our time we forget the reality that healthy food is necessary for being a healthy person,

When we avoide organic food and and addicted of prcessod food, this creates a kind of laziness and avoidance of regulaer excercise

I concluded my essy with the argument that if we want to build a community which consist of healthy and mently fit people, who can play there constructive role for the batterment of the country than we have to use all electonic and print media and internet sources espacially the social platforms to launch an awarness compagin regarding healthy diet and benifits of daily exercise,

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 4.0

CEFR B1 · High

Assessment summary

The response addresses both parts of the prompt in a general way, but suffers from severe, pervasive grammatical and lexical errors, highly fragmented paragraphing, and a lack of clear academic cohesion. Sentence boundaries are frequently broken, and spelling errors are numerous, making the text difficult to follow.

Scoring criteria

Task Response 4.5

Strengths

  • Attempts to address both reasons for unhealthy lifestyles and potential solutions.

Weaknesses

  • Ideas are underdeveloped and presented in very short, disjointed paragraphs.
  • The discussion on solutions is limited to a vague mention of media campaigns without concrete implementation details.

The response addresses the prompt's main tasks, but the support is sparse, highly generalized, and lacks clear extension, fitting a Band 4.5 profile.

Coherence & Cohesion 4.0

Strengths

  • Attempts to use transition markers such as 'Furtheremore' and 'When we avoide'.

Weaknesses

  • Paragraphing is highly erratic, consisting of single sentences or very brief blocks that lack internal logical progression.
  • Cohesive devices are frequently misspelled or misused, resulting in disjointed transitions.

Paragraph structure fails to present a clear progression of ideas, and logical relationships between sentences are often obscure, supporting a Band 4.0 score.

Lexical Resource 4.0

Strengths

  • Uses some topic-relevant vocabulary such as 'electronic devies', 'fast food', and 'exercise'.

Weaknesses

  • Spelling error density is extremely high (e.g., 'Todays', 'lake', 'awarness', 'pakage', 'dseases', 'devies', 'commen').
  • Vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, with awkward collocations.

The vocabulary shows severe limitations in word formation and spelling accuracy across common and academic terms, warranting a Band 4.0.

Grammar Range & Accuracy 4.0

Strengths

  • Attempts some complex structures such as conditional and relative clauses.

Weaknesses

  • Pervasive grammatical errors include missing subjects, incorrect verb forms, tense shifts, and severe punctuation lapses.
  • Frequent sentence boundary errors and comma splices disrupt readability.

Errors predominate throughout the text, and simple sentences frequently contain basic structural flaws, corresponding to a Band 4.0.

Writing stats

Words
360
Paragraphs
9
Grammar issues
10
Lexical suggestions
9
← Back to all examples