← Back to examples
Band 5.5CEFR B2383 words

Some people believe that climate affects the person’s way of life while others believe that climate has greater impact on the economy of a region. Discuss both view and give your opinion

The essay addresses both views regarding the impact of climate on lifestyle versus the economy and provides a clear opinion. However, it is marred by frequent grammatical errors...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Some people believe that climate affects the person’s way of life while others believe that climate has greater impact on the economy of a region. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

It is frequently argued that climate have vital impact on people's lifestyle, while a bunch of people thinks that it's true, others claim that economy of the region is more dependent on it. This essay will discuss both views and argue that climate have more to do with human than economy. While explaining that people's lifestyle correlates with financial state of the country.

To begin with, it is well-known that humanity is strongly dependent on climate. People from mild regions are able to be outdoors comfortably throughout the year. For example, California is largely associated with different types of aerobic activities, such as surfing, cycling, running and etc. These activities are barely possible outdoor in the cold countries at winter, making areas with warm climate much more convenient. At the same time, in regions like Alaska, locals have poor pull of hobbies, and they're mostly tied with ice or snow like hockey or skiing. Another key thing is absence of the sunny days and constant negative temperatures. It is statistically proven, that those from Scandinavian countries are less resistant to depression and have less social contacts. All of this leads to even bigger social isolation, dramatically decreasing average happiness index.

Other group believes that economy is more climate reliant than humans do. Firstly, when the region is flooded with snow, governments have to spend extra money on maintaining the cities. It mostly includes salaries for workers who clean the streets, additional equipment and cleaning chemicals. Another key thing is logistics, supporting such regions with provision and medical supplements is very difficult. For example, there is a city in Russia called Norilsk, it is very far from centers and has extremely cold climate. This city suffered from climate disasters many times in the past. No humanitarian help were provided in time, due to the distance and absence of the roads. It all shows how much problematic can be sustaining the places where climate is rough.

Overall, although economy impact perspective have solid points, i agree with the one that sticks with affect on human lifestyle. It explains how climate affects a person more than an economy, by explaining how surroundings change people's behavior. For this reason, individuals are the ones that was impacted by climate but also, change in their behavior directly affects economy

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 5.5

CEFR B2 · High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses both views regarding the impact of climate on lifestyle versus the economy and provides a clear opinion. However, it is marred by frequent grammatical errors, particularly subject-verb agreement mismatches ('climate have'), informal or imprecise vocabulary ('a bunch of people', 'poor pull of hobbies'), and punctuation/sentence boundary issues, including sentence fragments. Lexical range is adequate for a Band 5.5/6.0, but structural and grammatical inaccuracies prevent a higher score.

Scoring criteria

Task Response 6.0

Strengths

  • Both views on climate affecting lifestyle and the economy are discussed.
  • A clear personal opinion is stated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion.

Weaknesses

  • Argumentation in the body paragraphs relies on somewhat simplistic assertions and anecdotal examples rather than deep economic analysis.
  • The final sentence of the introduction is an incomplete sentence fragment.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout, fulfilling the basic requirements for Band 6.0.

Coherence & Cohesion 6.0

Strengths

  • Paragraphs are clearly separated with standard transitional markers like 'To begin with' and 'Overall'.
  • The overall progression from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion is logical.

Weaknesses

  • Cohesive devices are sometimes used mechanically or awkwardly ('Another key thing is', 'Other group').
  • Reference links can be vague, and paragraph transitions occasionally feel abrupt.

Information and ideas are generally organized with a clear overall progression, warranting a Band 6.0 for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource 5.5

Strengths

  • Some topic-specific vocabulary is used appropriately, such as 'aerobic activities', 'social isolation', and 'humanitarian help'.

Weaknesses

  • Frequent reliance on informal or imprecise phrasing ('a bunch of people', 'poor pull of hobbies', 'much problematic').
  • Collocation limitations and occasional awkward word choices.

While there is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, inaccuracies in word choice and collocation place this criterion solidly at Band 5.5.

Grammar Range & Accuracy 5.0

Strengths

  • Attempts complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions like 'while', 'although', and 'when'.

Weaknesses

  • Recurring subject-verb agreement errors ('climate have', 'No humanitarian help were').
  • Punctuation and sentence boundary errors, including sentence fragments ('While explaining that...') and comma splices.
  • Frequent minor errors such as missing articles ('the economy', 'the sunny days').

Grammatical errors are frequent, particularly with basic agreement and sentence structure, causing some strain for the reader and restricting the score to Band 5.0.

Writing stats

Words
383
Paragraphs
4
Grammar issues
10
Lexical suggestions
4
← Back to all examples