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Band 6.0CEFR B2303 words

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position and recognizable organizational structure. Vocabulary and grammatical control are generally adequate for a Band...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Certain individuals hold an idea that in recent years, technology has enhanced the quality of people’s lives in every fields such as communication. Others argue that poor relationship between people in a society is a consequence of development in technology. I believe that although it might have a negative influence on the bond between people, its benefits over weights its drawbacks.

On the one hand, in cyber era, people have a tendency to spend their time on the internet rather than hanging out with each other face to face. In other words, they prefer to text each other and post a comment on social media platforms. For instance, it is claimed that most people waiting for their orders in restaurants use their smart phone for surfing in the net instead of communicating with their companies. Therefore, it might have a negative impact on the social bonds. That is to say, advancements in technology probably lead to secluded community.

On the other hand, technology has numerous advantages which makes the life more convenient. One of its benefits is in related to communication. It is probably true to say that technology promotes the methods of correlation. For example, in todays’ world, people are able to communicate with their friends and family members living abroad via video calls easily, while in the past they had to send mails or make calls which was probably expensive. Moreover, technology make education more convenient. Nowadays, there are countless websites providing an opportunity to learn every subject. For instance, youtube.com is one of them including many educational videos such as teaching a new language.

In conclusion, although development in technology may cause secluded society and deteriorate the bond between people, I strongly believe that its benefits cannot be unconsidered. Technology provide convenient in numerous aspects such as communication and education.

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.0

CEFR B2 · High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear position and recognizable organizational structure. Vocabulary and grammatical control are generally adequate for a Band 6, though there are frequent recurring grammar errors such as subject-verb agreement mismatches, article omissions, and awkward lexical collocations.

Scoring criteria

Task Response 6.0

Strengths

  • Addresses both views regarding convenience versus the loss of social skills and human connection.
  • Presents a clear personal opinion in the introduction and reiterates it in the conclusion.

Weaknesses

  • Arguments in body paragraphs rely on somewhat general examples rather than fully extended, sophisticated reasoning.
  • Some claims about social bonds and education are asserted rather than deeply analyzed.

The response satisfies all core task requirements by discussing both perspectives and providing an opinion, fitting the Band 6 descriptor for Task Response.

Coherence & Cohesion 6.0

Strengths

  • Paragraphs are clearly structured with standard transition markers such as 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion'.
  • Logical progression from discussing social drawbacks to practical benefits is maintained throughout.

Weaknesses

  • Relies on somewhat mechanical cohesive devices and sentence-initial transitions.
  • Pronoun reference and substitution are occasionally repetitive.

Information and ideas are coherently arranged with clear overall progression, though cohesive devices can be repetitive or formulaic.

Lexical Resource 6.0

Strengths

  • Uses a mix of general and topic-specific vocabulary such as 'technological advancements', 'social media platforms', and 'video calls'.
  • Attempts some less common lexical items like 'secluded community'.

Weaknesses

  • Contains non-standard word formations and collocations such as 'over weights' and 'in related to'.
  • Some vocabulary choices lack precision in academic contexts.

An adequate range of vocabulary is used with some attempts at less common words, but occasional inaccuracies in word choice and spelling/word formation keep the score at 6.0.

Grammar Range & Accuracy 5.5

Strengths

  • Demonstrates control over simple sentence structures and attempts complex structures using subordinate clauses (e.g., 'although it might have a negative influence...').

Weaknesses

  • Frequent grammatical errors occur, including subject-verb agreement mismatches ('technology make', 'Technology provide'), missing articles ('in cyber era'), and pluralization issues ('every fields').
  • Control over verb forms and prepositional phrases is inconsistent.

The frequent errors in grammar and punctuation—particularly subject-verb agreement and article use—impair clarity in places and warrant a Band 5.5.

Writing stats

Words
303
Paragraphs
4
Grammar issues
8
Lexical suggestions
6
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