← Back to examples
Band 6.0CEFR B2272 words

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, presents both views, and provides a clear opinion. Cohesion is generally logical, and vocabulary is adequate with some good academic...

IELTS WritingCEFR B2Checked

Prompt

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

Essay review

Annotated essay

Interactive

Certain individuals think that zoos are cruel locations and ought to be closed down, whereas others consider that zoos are advantageous because they safeguard wild beasts. I think that zoos are very helpful for safeguarding wildlife due to the fact that they supply animals with shelter, food, and clean water.

On the one hand, zoos are spots where ill or hurt wild animals can get proper treatment so that they are able to heal faster. They are additionally shielded from hunters. Not only that, but zoos additionally look after endangered species by helping them reproduce and boosting the populations of rare beasts. Furthermore, zoos shield animals from early death, permitting threatened species to grow in numbers. In addition, zoos keep captive creatures safe inside protected habitats to guard them against illnesses or natural disasters that might wipe out entire species.

On the other hand, animals held in zoos might develop zoochosis, a mental condition brought on by confinement, which can gravely impact their health. Moreover, tourists frequently arrive to view captive beasts, taking away their privacy by continually observing them and taking photos. In addition, lots of zoos supply habitats that are only a tiny fraction of the animals' native environments. As a consequence, they cannot roam freely, hunt, or mark their territory, which may result in muscle atrophy due to a lack of exercise.

In conclusion, zoos feature both pros and cons. They help safeguard and care for animals, but confinement and human interference can also cause them to suffer. Therefore, by shifting their focus from human entertainment to wildlife preservation, modern zoos can turn into better places for wild animals.

Error patterns

Band & CEFR

Band 6.0

CEFR B2 · High

Assessment summary

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, presents both views, and provides a clear opinion. Cohesion is generally logical, and vocabulary is adequate with some good academic collocations, though it is occasionally repetitive. Grammatical control is moderate, featuring a mix of simple and complex structures alongside minor lapses, but the writing remains clear and easy to follow throughout.

Scoring criteria

Task Response 6.5

Strengths

  • All parts of the task (discussing both views and giving a personal opinion) are clearly addressed.
  • A distinct and consistent position is established in the introduction and maintained throughout the body and conclusion.

Weaknesses

  • Arguments are somewhat general and rely on standard talking points without deeper real-world examples or statistical evidence.

The response fulfills all core requirements of Task Response by addressing both sides and presenting a clear viewpoint. The ideas are extended, but lack deep empirical illustration, placing it solidly in the band 6.5 range.

Coherence & Cohesion 6.5

Strengths

  • Paragraphs have clear macro-topics: introduction, view one, view two, and conclusion.
  • Logical progression is maintained using common cohesive devices and transition phrases.

Weaknesses

  • Some cohesive devices are somewhat formulaic ('On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'In addition').

The essay is easy to read and follows a logical structure with clear paragraph breaks, though the cohesive markers are standard rather than invisible or highly sophisticated.

Lexical Resource 6.0

Strengths

  • Uses several relevant academic and topic-specific terms such as 'endangered species', 'zoochosis', 'wildlife preservation', and 'natural disasters'.

Weaknesses

  • Relies on repeated simple terms like 'beasts', 'animals', and 'zoos' rather than varied lexical chains.
  • Occasional simplistic word choices in comparison to more sophisticated academic options.

Vocabulary is sufficient for the task with some precise terms, but repetition of key nouns ('beasts', 'animals') and limited lexical variety prevent a higher score.

Grammar Range & Accuracy 6.5

Strengths

  • Demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and conditional structures.
  • Sentence boundaries are generally well controlled with correct punctuation.

Weaknesses

  • Occasional redundant modifiers and slight phrasing awkwardness ('ill or hurt wild animals' instead of injured animals).
  • Limited range of truly advanced syntactic structures like inversion or subjunctive forms.

The essay contains a majority of error-free clauses and manages complex structures reasonably well, though minor lexical and stylistic infelicities keep it at band 6.5.

Writing stats

Words
272
Paragraphs
4
Grammar issues
0
Lexical suggestions
5
← Back to all examples